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If you’ve never read the comic book entitled The Goon, what the heck are you waiting for? Written and drawn by Eric Powell, it’s an absurdly comical journey through a world populated by robots, zombies, ghosts, and all other manner of bizarre creatures and people. Below, I compiled a list of the top 10 Goon characters, but I’ve left off the big guy himself (in fairness to the other characters).
10. Skunk Ape – A large, shaggy monster who stinks to high heaven. Don’t get him to close to a blueberry pie, as he’ll fly into a fit of homicidal delight.
9. Charlie Noodles – While he’s never actually seen in the pages of The Goon, Charlie Noodles is often the subject of stories told by Goon and Franky. Goon refers to him as “good people,” and that’s enough to get him included on the list.
8. El Lagarto Hombre – Imagine Godzilla speaking bad Spanish, and you’ll have an idea of El Lagarto Hombre. He now acts as a wacky manservant to Dr. Alloy.
7. Fishy Pete – A fish man who talks like a pirate and quotes Robert Shaw from Jaws. Thanks to Goon, Fishy Pete has twin peg legs and hooks on his hands. And don’t even get him started on his mother, the legendary Sea Hag who likes to get it on with sailors.
6. Mirna – A ultra-hot singer at Norton’s Place, she has a king-sized crush on The Goon. The Goon, of course, rejects her advances, feeling that he’s too ugly for any woman. She has become a bit nutty as of late, as her brother tried to kill The Goon for no reason and ended up as a zombie.
5. Momma Norton – An eccentric gypsy woman and mother to Norton, owner of the local bar where Goon and Franky hang out. She was a great help to the Goon despite her bizarre behavior, and she was eventually killed due to her wily gypsy ways.
4. The Psychic Seal – A turban-wearing seal who can see the future. He speaks in the expected “Ark! Ark!” sounds of a seal, but everyone appears to be able to understand him. He often insults people’s mothers, leading him to take a number of beatings.
3. Lazlo – The assistant to the Zombie Priest, Lazlo is one of only two zombies able to talk in complete sentences. He’s also incredibly treacherous, as demonstrated by the time he wailed on his former boss during a takeover of the organization. He’s currently dead (again), having been shot in the head by Franky.
2. Buzzard – A former sheriff in the Old West, Buzzard’s entire town was turned into the undead by the Zombie Priest. Seeking revenge, he was cursed during a showdown with the Zombie Priest. But the curse went awry, making him live forever and crave the flesh of the dead. He has been a great aid to Goon in his war against the various undead rulers of Lonely Street.
1. Franky – Once a complete coward, Franky gained newfound courage when he met The Goon. Now he acts as his wise-cracking sidekick, and his favorite move is the dreaded “knife to the eye.” Definitely the comic relief of the series, although most of the other characters are almost as hilarious in their own way.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 at 1:03 pm and is filed under Best Horror Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.